The other day, I was depositing my paycheck at the bank, and the teller asked me, "Do you want this in checking?" Now, that`s a pretty stupid question, seeing as I had closed out my savings account a month before and now only have a 1) checking account. I couldn`t believe her stupidity.
But, you know, I try to be tolerant and helpful when dealing with people who aren`t all that swift. So, to give her a clue, I said, "Yeah, put it all in checking, stupid." No big speech, no insulting dissection of her dumb question. I just politely answered her and tacked on a little "hint."
Well, Little Miss Genius practically 2) stared daggers at me! What was her problem? I mean, all I did was call her stupid. And it`s not like it`s even necessarily her fault she`s that way. Her mother might have drank too much when she 3) was carrying her or something. All I was doing was pointing out that there`s a problem with her intelligence.
A similar thing happened at Pepe`s a couple of weeks ago. I ordered the Beef Enchirito Deluxe Platter, and the waiter brought me a Chicken Enchirito. So, naturally, when he put it down in front of me, I gently said, "I`m sorry, but I ordered the Beef Enchirito, stupid."
The guy takes the plate back, and as he`s leaving, he 4) shoots me a nasty look. Geez, like I`m the 5) dumbass who doesn`t know a chicken from a cow! 6) Strike two.
But even so, I try to be nice. Next time he comes to the table, I try explaining to him as nicely as possible why he`s stupid. I even talk extra slow to make sure he 7) follows me. But does he appreciate my efforts to better him? Of course not! He tells me, "I have a lot of other tables to serve, sir," and walks off. Yeah, that would be a real tragedy, not 8) getting waited on by this Einstein, right?
That was his 9) third strike. As a general rule, I drop my tip to 10 percent after the first stupid move, 5 percent after the second, and on your third, 10) you lose the whole bundle. I guess a fourth mistake means the waiter would have to tip me, but I`ll never find out, because I don`t give people a chance to do a fourth stupid thing. I was out of there and off to a smart restaurant.
Frankly, I don`t know why I even bother trying to help these people: Every time I do, they get all 11) huffy and defensive.
Taken from http://www.theonion.com
1) 은행 당좌 예금: 수표로만 찾는 예금
2) 꼬나보다
3) 임신중이다
4) 째려보다
5) 쇼생크 탈출에 나오는 말: 멍청이
6) 야구용어
7) understand
8) 상대가 waiter라는 걸 꼬집는 말
9) 야구용어 : 세번째 스트라이크; 삼진아웃
10) 결국은 한푼도 안 줬다는 말
11) 성질내는
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